H O P E.. and an old farm house.

It was perfect.

A beautiful 3 bedroom farmhouse..

On 5 acres..

With not one..

but two barns.

and he said no.

.

.

.

{If anyone reading this knows me in real life, you know that I grew up in the country. If anyone reading this knows me in real life, you know that I currently do not live in the country and miss it.. desperately}

"It needs too much work."

My husband said.

"And there's not enough privacy or land."

He added.

Then, the whopper: "You need to let it go. I don't want to talk about that house anymore."

.

.

He wasn't rude, or mean. It was a matter of facts. Facts I knew. Facts we had talked about before looking going to the open house. But, I still felt like my life long dream of moving back to the country had been ripped away from me. I felt hopeLESS. I felt empty and lost. I stewed for days.. I can be a tad on the dramatic side ;)

and then..

I called my mother.

And she reminded me.

..that God is in control. That just because I want something 'yesternow', doesn't mean I can will it into happening. I'm paraphrasing, of course. I actually have a terrible memory. But she said some very beautiful words about God knowing the right timing for things.. and me? ..not so much ;)

So, I decided to try and find my hope again.. 

after that call with my mother.

She's so wise.

I dug around in my thoughts for a bit. And there it was under all my grumblings, and selfishness. Realizing that she was right, and that it still may happen, but in His {God's} timing.

H O P E.

I've found that it doesn't always just happen.

H O P E.

Sometimes you have to really choose it.

H O P E.

We will have our someday.. someday.

When it's in God's perfect timing, our dream house won't be a struggle. It won't be chaotic.

I won't need to 'plead my case' to my husband and family, talking them into how amazing it will be.

H O P E.

It may be hard work. I may have to remind myself daily about that choice. 

But I will choose it.

I can let it go, {yes, Elsa is singing in my head everytime I say that, too} and know that God hears the cry of my heart. I can know that He cares about my dreams and desires. I can know that the Father never says 'no'! He says "Yes", "Not Yet", and "I have something better in mind". And while I'm not sure which answer it is at this point. I can rest assured that He has heard me, and will provide for us.. when the time is right.

His perfect timing.

H O P E.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

My husband really is so very smart. I think he knew this before I did.

It just took me longer to figure it out. God, bless him for being so patient with me!

Be blessed,

Jess